Puffer farts and New Tank

[gdsentropy]

Hello,

I have been absent far longer that I would have wished due to work and the chaos of moving...finally the move is over, but the boxes....oh...god...the boxes...they're everywhere..

Anyway..
I am currently engaged in an attempt to convince Weinstein Properties that a 300g will be ok on their 4" thick concrete slab...and it is not going well. I find it difficult to comprehend how they do not understand that the footprint of the tank will produce less lbs/sq ft than humans standing in the same area. I have consulted with structural engineers as well, but apparently these guys are set in their beliefs and damn the facts.

So, yeah, my puffs still do not have the home they were due two months ago.

In other news, I came home Thursday to the most terrible sight and feeling ever....my 14" Mappa was floating upside down at the top of the tank...

Immediately my mind began racing through the possibilities...swim bladder, water params, etc....but as I observed him, I noted that there was a stubborn bulge which was pulling his bum straight up, despite his best efforts...

I tested the water and found everything ok, Ammonia, Nitrite, Phosphate, Specific Gravity, Nitrate, etc...all were ok.

So I watched my helpless puff while calling the LFS [Fintastic in Charlotte...they rock], and their advice was as I expected...my Mappie somehow ate two golfballs worth of air.

As I watched my puff that day, ensuring that if he needed help I could lend it....the most...er...weird thing I have EVER seen a fish do happened...

He farted.
Not just a little, not even silently, but a full on audible, violent PARP.

O___O'

Then he was fine....he just swam off about his business, and chilled in his favorite corner....

Apparently, fish Fart.

Now I know.

Ian

[sgtmyers88]

LOL I was puzzled at the title and as I read thru this my emotions went from sympathy to confusion to horror and as I got to the bottom of this post I nearly choked on my dinner. This is the most hilarious thing I have read all day!

[Pufferpunk]

That was terrible & great, all in one!

[Pufftastic]

Oh, man, I needed that. Thanks for my best laugh of the day!

[puffykid]

ahahaha

[Master of Puffers]

Am I evil in wanting to know what a puffer fart smells like??

I've smelt cat, dog, cow and sheep...and now I'm wondering....

[gdsentropy]

Thanks for the replies everyone. And thankfully I wasn't close enough to the tank at the time to discover the most probably unique bouqet of his epic parp.

One disturbing thing is that it happened again on Thursday, clearing only Saturday. I am not sure how he is doing this to himself, but him doing so twice only tells me one thing; it is sure to happen again. I do not like that.

My wife and I spent over 12 straight hours trying to help him out..thankfully and unfortunately he likes to be touched, so it did not stress him...but the same fact made it nearly impossible to make him puff. I finally got him to puff...but that didnt help. He was so very tired from trying to swim to the bottom, that I found him apparently reserved to death, his face entirely OUT of the water. I had enough of that...and got...creative.

The library spoke of grabbing by the tail and shaking....I am at a loss as to how that is supposed to work. He is far too slippery and large to perform that operation. Finally I employed the help of two nets, one on top of him, the other below...this allowed me to shake him, and freak him out enough to make him puff...but as I said, it did not work. Various types of massage and burping techniques largely failed as well. I hope he doesn't hate us now, I spent a long time building his trust. He even gets close to the glass and tilts himself in what appears to be an attempt to nuzzle when I get close to the tank and talk to him. He really should not know what nuzzling is, it is sort of a mammal thing..so, who knows what he is doing. Maybe he learned through watching? Stranger things have happened...some fish even use tools, so fish I think are far more intelligent than people in their arrogant hubris give them credit for.

Poor puff. He is such a sweet puff. His friends Nigropunctatus and Manilensis went to check on him every now and again, which was endearingly cute. Nigropunctatus "Puppy" frequently aligns himself in a yin-yang shape with Mappa on the bottom, so they are definitely buddies. Cute puffs.

Finally I just left the nets in there, hoping he would figure out why I did so- he did. He shoved his 14" self behind them to avoid getting stuck at the top, and over that (Friday) night he figured out how to clear the massive bubble. Maybe he farted again. Maybe he figured we had collectively been through enough that day...see below.

Friday, prior to him clearing the epic bubb, something really crappy happened- the venturi on my current fractionator clogged (and I cant unclog it...lye in a bucket next..) and drained about 20g onto my floor, wall, maybe the neighbors floor and through some means frying an outlet, nuking to the point of melting a surge protector..perhaps thats what finally got the outlet.

Wtf breaker? Really?

I bet eviction and lawsuits are forthcoming...I don't know. This was on the ground floor which is a nice cement slab with only padding and carpet above, so it was trivial to rip it up and bissel the majority of the water away, then I used a bigass Vornado fan to dry it more. I really cannot afford to move again as I spent 30k moving 178mi for this Duke Energy job. Hell, Im not even close to being done unpacking yet. *grumble*

Despite my crappy spine (and the fact I havent worked out since 2004, when I nuked my spine) I was able to push upwards of god knows how many pounds of tank, stand and water over 4' to facilitate the efforts of my wife and I to remediate this issue. THAT will make your entire body feel like jelly. If you ever have to do this, and believe me I hope you don't, just get real low on the thing and get a good footing...move with your chest, not your back...NEVER your back. Be mindful that you do not kill yourself or your pets by bolloxing the whole thing up and upending the entire apparatus.

Now of course that wasn't enough crap for that day. At least my 3yo didnt think so, because he fully emptied a brand new HUGE container of baby powder (thankfully cornstarch...talc and asbesthos occur together naturally..forget talc powder) all over EVERYTHING in his room...and I do mean everything.

Wtf, dude? C'mon, man!

Ah well... Sometimes you just have to laugh, or pick up a bottle. I prefer doing both.

Perhaps Mappa is getting hungry and nomming the bubbles induced through return effulent reentry?
Thats the only thing I can think of.

I guess Sunday Ill man up and push the tank back. Joy of joys...

Ian

[arrivalanche]

I still miss my mappa. It died a month or two ago... Probably my favorite fish ever.