I took the divider out of the baileyi tank for a bit. They were both laying on each side of it and staring at each other. Once it was removed, Phil went up to Lil and sort of nosed her, she didn't move, then he swam away, looking a little puffy. He wandered around his side a little bit, then went to go see her again and puffed up. Didn't look like he was being aggressive, looked more like he was displaying. He wasn't attacking her or anything. Reminded me of a male peacock. She sort of yawned and didn't do anything else, and he went back to rest on his side for a few minutes. Then she moved a little further into her side, yawned, and laid back down.
I'm hopeful. During the times when I'm not watching, I have my older son watching to make sure they don't fight. Hasn't been very long yet but so far, so good.
He went and found her in her corner just now and they both inflated and started circling, head to tail, all puffed up. Then they each started taking turns doing this oddly cute shimmering move, sort of wiggling side to side, up against each other. No signs of aggression so far, but they keep rubbing each other. Then she deflated and went to lay in her log bowl. They were back in a corner behind a bunch of plants and the log and there wasn't much room for them. Hopefully they'll move into a more open area soon.
This is very cool to watch! I wish I had a video camera. I'm afraid to take pictures or the flash might scare them. Maybe I can take some with the flash turned off.
No further activity for the past 20 minutes. She's resting in her log bowl, he's alternating between laying in her cave and exploring her side of the tank.
I put the divider back in after a little while, but will keep trying periodically and see what happens. I just didn't want to have to sit there watching the entire day and am not confident enough that they'll not fight when not being watched. I'll try again later though.
We're having a blizzard so there's nothing else to do.
She sort of yawned and didn't do anything else, and he went back to rest on his side for a few minutes. Then she moved a little further into her side, yawned, and laid back down. 
Figured I'd just stick my hand in. That usually scares them unless there's shrimp in it.
Some call it a product of a mis-spent youth, I call it Rock n Roll ! 