Writer's block

[J-P]

Hello guys and gals.. here is another plea for help.

I'm having writer's block for my new online shop.
http://www.invertplanet.com/index-1.html

This is a problem page for me. Most of the links are dead and I'm working on it, but just don't know what to say. Don't worry about the pics, they will be adjusted to reflect the content. It is the content that I am having a problem with.

Any ideas or suggestions?

[FADE2BLACK_1973]

J-P, From what I read and saw, looked really awesome to me and really don't see anything that should be added that has not already been added, imo. Btw, Really love the front page... .

[purplecandle]

Original-Since then, to today, we are making history!

Should be - Since then today we are making history! (no comma).
However, I still don't like this sentence. It would sound better as ..
The rest is history! or
Since those days we have grown from shrimp food to..(inverts or whatever you have grown to)

What specifically are you having trouble with?

[J-P]

the "our advantages" portion and "what we offer"

And I agree, that last sentence is troublesome. I deleted it, but would like something there about us making history (as this AFAIK has not been done).

[purplecandle]

uh..J-P.. if you are the first... Why are you not putting that in??? "We're the first".."We saw a need" "The original" "We bring you what you have been looking for"..stuff like that.

Our advantages, Bring on the love

"Because we are the first we could do X,Y,Z" "We listened to what you wanted" "We don't just sell products...We are a community"

What we offer...mention the products/name brands you offer. Talk about your awesome sales/have a sales section..maybe a product of the month that is a super deal.

You also call the shopping "extensive" I would choose another word...you want to make people think that shopping is fun, easy, safe and secure...not extensive.

but, you could say you have an extensive selection of products.

[J-P]

in the "our advantages" section, should I list brands that we carry or the shops that provide the fulfillment? (Hikiri vs Big Al's?)


dang... that one page is killing me... anyone feel like being a copy writer?