Amish communities are supposed to make those rules together and understand them completely. They have meetings and review their community's rules on a regular basis. They propose changes and discuss everything thoroughly. Submissiveness is by choice; in a normal Amish community, teens are not expected to adhere completely to community rules, and they often don't. A friend of mine told me about how the Amish kids in his area "pimped out" their buggies with battery-operated radios and listened to rock music. When Amish children reach a certain age, they are expected to spend time in the outside world, and then they are given the choice to leave with the community's blessing, or to return as a full member and adhere to the community's rules.Questioning authority (e.g., why can't we have bikes in our community but our cousins in another community can have bikes?) is strictly forbidden because it is deemed an act of insubmissiveness, not being content with what God has commanded. Not being allowed to question and seek knowledge to rectify these contradictions actively nurtures repression. There is no room for self-reflection and personal/inner development. The children grow up not being able to express themselves. Because of this inability to express themselves, they take their frustrations out on those weaker than themselves. The children, now parents, physically, verbally and in some cases, sexually abuse their (or others') children just like they were abused when they were growing up. The husband abuses his wife and children and animals, the wife abuses the children, and the children abuse the animals.
There is also no basis for saying that "all areas of Amish society" are abusive. That's like saying that all Christian diocese are dangerous cults - we all know that the majority of Christians are not in cults. Most Amish children decide to remain in the community after their time in the outside world.
I would really like to sound credible and cite a source, but I learned most of what I just wrote at a lecture given by a man who lived for several years with many Amish communities and published a book on his experiences. I don't have any citations for what I heard at a lecture.
