The Puffer Forum

Best thing to do is get your spouse interested in fish too. Buy him/her a tank of their own and let them stock it.

Let her join you in this, explain why you like it and why you want her to be a part of it. Teach her and include her in the decisions.

Please don't lie to her or give fish gifts to her etc. She should see right through that! Even though I enjoy our fish and it's something we do together if I ever got a filter or something as a gift... Ha! Boy would he be in trouble

ETA: And don't ever pop the question when you're in trouble. That's a good way to get turned down and end the relationship.

Flutter wrote:ETA: And don't ever pop the question when you're in trouble. That's a good way to get turned down and end the relationship.

Not only that, but when her friends ask her how you did it, it's not going to be a romantic story and she'll resent you for it. A wedding is a time for a woman to have "her day" and someone reminding her of how the proposal happened will ruin it. Because she'll have to either make up a fake story or feel awkward about telling it over and over. Could you look her mother/father/guardian/grandmother in the eye and tell them what you were planning?

I had an amazing professor two years ago who said an amazing thing, "If you can't deal with it being published in the papers, and if you can't tell the 3 most important people whom you respect the most, you shouldn't be doing it."

Also it shows you may not be serious about it and she'll consider that. Or she finds the ring and ruins the surprise or she wonders about things you're not telling her. If there's already a fight about something else and this pops up, it'll be a disaster.

This may seem like a bit of a rant, but it's really something to consider.

I was going to get her a ring once (we have been dating for 7 years now) but then she wanted to go to diseny world. So I spent the money on plane tickets instead. That was 2 years ago.

The engagment ring comment was a joke, I know better to get married when common law is the same thing when your not religious like me. or to use that to get out of trouble. lol

Man, some people just and will not understand us hobbyist that spend money on fish and fish tanks. I been married over 10 years plus 13 years together and man is she soooo tired of and burned out of fish..lol. I wish I could get my muti tank system going again but will not happen again. Plus got way too much going on with 3 kids and a sick wife. My fishes help keep me chilled with all that's going on. The hobby is my passion and so is my family even though my wife thinks I love my fishes more then the family at times but no that's not true. So like I said, some people just and will not understand us hobbyist. But it's hard to make up excuse's because they pick up on it really fast..lol. Oh and if they don't tell you about it right away, they sure will later on when you least expect it

My reef tank is pretty full, so Hubby wouldn't notice something new. Can't fit it in anyway. That's why I had to start another tank. Hubby kept saying we're not putting a BIGGER SW tank in the living room. NO SW tanks in the living room at all. As we were going to pick it up in his truck, he was asking me where this tank was going. I told him the living room. He said no it's not coming in the house. It's in the living room now.

@ PP. That was perfect!

Weaver wrote:Instead of coming home with flowers for valentines day I came home with a big bag of snails... luckly she wasn't upset. lol

Omigod this thread made me laugh so hard. I loved this particular post. *shakes head* but that sounds awfully familiar lol.

I hate to say it but my fiance and I are both heartily into this hobby together. At first we both got platys, guppies, and mollies, and briefly got into sailfins. We realized pretty soon that it wasnt working out and we didnt particularly like those fish. That was tank #1. We started adding cichlids, and Tony loved them so now after a few months we weeded out the mollies and the tank is totally cichlids. I love them too, but the cichlids are "Tonys". We got a smaller tank for the guppies and platys and corys, which is my tank. I decided after some research I wanted to start breeding guppies. We went to the fishstore one day and saw the puffers... Tony got them but I loved them too and was happily surprised he did. We realized they just wouldnt be okay with the cichlids, and ended up with another tank, actually the puffers ended up making us get two tanks. So in a 1 bedroom apartment, we now have four fish tanks. A 45 Gal, a 30 Gal, a 20 Gal, and a 10 Gal. 3 of them are in the living room, one in the kitchen (breeder tank). We dont even need to turn the lights on at night anymore... mood lighting!

As for what you could do for excuses? Having no experience I can only speculate... try taking your spouse to the petstore with you, try to get them interested in a fish of their own. Um, haha. I know this probably wont work for some people.

Like someone else said, try to make the fishtank more inconspicuous.

I would hope that your spouse would understand and respect that its your hobby and you really have a need to do it. You might want to (gently) try to express this.

Definitely dont bring home a bag of snails on Valentines Day. hehe.

Try to compromise... make a trade-off. Give your spouse something they really want in exchange for keeping the fish hobby. Its worth a try.

Something that I noticed my wife telling me lately is "I don't care about it and I don't want to hear about it either"..lol. Only after she brings it up when we get into a fight, then she will say something like "you waste your money on fish". That just tell you that people who loves the hobby understands but there's people that still and will never understand it or will support you in it. My wife and I have totally different hobbys.

What she doesn't know, won't hurt her. Keep it a need to know basis.

Stay single, its working for me hahaha

The trouble with having your spouse/significant other as much into your fish as you are: there is no voice of reason when you're at the LFS deciding to get yet another tankful of fish!!! Be careful what you wish for . . .

We seriously had to go sit in the car for 15 minutes and rationally discuss why it might not be the best time for us to add a 20 gallon and two adorable little dwarf puffers to our household. It was crazy--we were picking out sand and plants and possible names before it occurred to us that now might not be the best time (we're finishing grad school, planning a wedding) for us to take on another tank. We went home fishless. It was the right call, but we almost didn't make it, lol.

As for what you could do for excuses? Having no experience I can only speculate... try taking your spouse to the petstore with you, try to get them interested in a fish of their own. Um, haha. I know this probably wont work for some people.

Tried this before and ended up walking out wit a $750 puppy....def coulda got a new tank with that lol

Not from a pet shop I hope!

haha no PP but it sux knowing i went in there for some snails and shrimp and came out with snails and a puppy