Some Days I Just Feel Like Giving Up

[pufferpuggirl]

This week, and in particular this month, has not been very good. And after today, I just felt like giving it all up.

On the 28th of July both of my Figure 8 puffers died, it seems that some ferns I put into the tank might have poisoned them. I tore down the tank and now have it as freshwater with my dwarf puffers in it, and they are all doing fine.
Then on the 2nd of August, Jerome my Kenyan pygmy chameleon died. I don't think he had eaten anything since I had gotten him. For some reason, I've learned, some chameleons aren't able to reel out their tongue and without being able to do that, they basically starve. I suppose that could have been what happened to Jerome. Then just 2 days later, one of my baby Bearded pygmy chameleons died, leaving me with one (at that time, got another now). The very next day I found my Nefastus puffer dead, killed by those evil darn algae eaters (which I promptly got rid of by taking them to the LFS).
And then yesterday I found my lovely male salivator puffer dead. No ideas why he died. He was all puffed up at the bottom of the tank. That gutted me, as I really loved that little guy and had him for quite a while, so was attached to him.

And today was like the straw that broke the camel's back. I have 2 weather loaches (or dojo) in my tank, and I've had them longer than I've had any of my puffers. Got them when they were just tiny and now they are quite big. One was brown and the other a white colour (but not albino). Since getting my Fire eel (in the same tank), I put a long PVC tube into the tank to give the Fire eel a place to retreat to, as I know they love hiding places like that. I knew the weather loaches would probably go into the PVC tube as well, since they like to hide too. And they are very social with each other, often cuddling up to one another and laying together. Really cute with their beady eyes.

Well, for some reason I got down on the floor and decided to look inside the PVC tube and what I seen baffled me. I could see the face of the weather loach looking at me, but I could also see the tail. I knew it wasn't the other weather loach because I could see the other one in a different part of the tank. I asked my husband to come and have a look and he thought there were 2 of them inside the tube. I had a bad feeling at this point and asked my husband to reach in and dump the loach out of the tube, which he did. What came out really made me feel both saddened and sickened at the same time. The weather loach was literally bent in two, with a huge gash in the middle, like he's been broken in half. We think he tried to turn inside the tube and got stuck and tore himself up trying to free himself. That's the only thing I can think of. The poor guy was still alive, but I knew there was no way he could survive that. Nothing I could do would heal that and I suspect his back was broken. It was very sad and I could not stop crying just from looking at him. I suspected he was probably in a great deal of pain, and the only thing I thought would be the right thing to do, the humane thing, would be to euthanise him. I happened to have a small bottle of that Koi sedate I used to use when I had my SAP's .... and I put a very large dose of that in a bucket of shallow tank water, and as I wasn't able to do it myself, I had my husband put him in there. The poor guy lived a short while, but then went to sleep and died. It was all very sad and I find myself even crying now just typing about it. I know he was just a "loach", but I had him a long time, and I thought they were very cool.

I've since removed the PVC tube from the tank, just so the other loach can't do it. Thing is, those loaches aren't long, but they are wide and thick, and that's where the problem comes in. I feel badly for the remaining loach because they are very social and do enjoy the company of other weather loaches. I could get another one, but it would be very small compared with the size of the white one that's still there.

It's just that after all this death, it leaves me feeling very screwed up and a bit numb. I've got a horrible headache from crying (crying always gives me a bad headache, which is a good reason NOT to cry if I can help it). My husband never knows what to do when I cry and he's running around saying " maybe we should get rid of all the fish if this is the way it's going to affect you" ... but what does he expect? I don't like to see things suffer, and to die before their time. That poor little loach was in such a state, and I felt horrible just looking at him. If there had been any way to save him I would have, as I only put something down when it's my absolute last resort. I don't think that poor guy would have lived very long on his own, but I felt it would be cruel to leave him to suffer until he died naturally.

But goodness, how much can a person take? I just want to go a few weeks without something dying. It's starting to affect me. I'm not going the self-pity route .... it's just that seriously all this death is messing with my head.

[xrayjeeper83]

AWW im sorry to hear all the trouble you been having.

Keep your head out, this will pass. You did the right thing for your loach

[diverchic]

Suz, you put the tube in there for the benefit of your fish, which is the only reason you do anything for them. The fact that the loach got stuck in there that way seems much more like it is a freak accident than anything else. I am sorry that you have had a tough week but you must remember that these things do happen.

From what you have said, nothing you have done or not done has any bearing on the deaths.

[autophotos]

awww - sometimes things just happen that are out of our control - chin up (hug)

[pufferpuggirl]

Thank you xray, diverchic and autophotos ... I appreciate your kind words. It's just like I said in my rant -- I'd like to go a few weeks or a couple of months without something dying. I'm starting to feel jinxed.

[Pufferpunk]

I know how you feel...

[Brent]

I'm really sorry to hear about everything that's happened to you the past little while.

It's hard enough to have a pet, no, a family member die. To have so many die practiacally at once is just terrible.

I'm sure things will get better from now on. Just try and enjoy the many creatures you still share your life with.

[autophotos]

The chances of a pet dying if you had 5 fish would be lower than say if you had 10. People who own a lot of animals will see more losses just because of probability.

It doeant mean in any way that your a bad owner. Its just down to chance and chances are that you may loose 10 fish this year and i or someone with less will loose only 5.

i know its hard going. When i lost one of my fig 8s i felt real bad. But like i said its all chance. Could you imagine how many fish the shops loose a year. Even if they kept everything spot on they would still have unexplained losses.

[pufferpuggirl]

Yeah, you're probably right. It's just that you know, you find one dead and you think, well it happens. Then you find another dead, then something else dies, and then there's another. And you start to think - "when's it going to end?"

[Pufferpunk]

When we give up all our pets?

[J-P]

Regarding the loach .. yea they are very personable and long lived. My wife cried when we lost ours simply because it had been in the family so long. Sorry for the losses.

[pufferpuggirl]

Obviously if I were to give up all my pets I'd be more miserable than I am from having these unfortunate losses. I apologise for allowing myself to get so low, but it's good to get feedback from my extended aquatic family (The Puffer Forum members). Thank you all for putting me back on track. As sad as it is to lose puffers, other fish, chameleons, etc., I'd be even sadder without them. So I feel that I must trudge on and do what I can to make life good for my remaining pets.

Thank you again TPF members!

[xrayjeeper83]

any time, thats what we are here for.

[purplecandle]

[~reefchik~]

No words of wisdom, just a hug. I'm sorry for your losses, but it's a sad fact of life when we have pets - and it doesn't get easier, does it? Hopefully everyone else will now stay long lived and healthy for you.